The Joke is On Me

Matching the needs of kids with the needs of the parents is always a very tricky thing, especially because kids are, well, kids, and they are prone to changing their minds. Do you make half-a-dozen different dishes for your family in a night? Or do you make everyone eat the same thing? Growing up, I didn't have any choice, and I turned out fine (though my therapist might think otherwise, he shouldn't complain; he's made enough off of me to buy a new BMW, so far). I deal with this ever-vexing question by making meals that I can take apart for the kids, and put together for myself and Santa Maria. Here are two examples:

• Salmon, broccoli, and rice—The kids like it plain and separate. We like it in a stir-fry or a warm rice salad.
• Chicken, red pepper, and arugula salad—We eat it together, and the kids will eat the chicken and the salad (Romaine, for them) and, if I make them, roast potatoes.

This isn't much work, and it makes life around the table a lot easier. But things are always in flux. The other day I was looking through my notes on my iPod, and I came across an entry from about a year ago. Nina had tasted the potatoes from that arugula salad, and was delighted by them. I told her they had thyme on them. "Time," she said. “You mean you put clocks on the potatoes?”

Thing is, Nina hasn’t eaten those potatoes in a year, and when I told her the story, she couldn’t believe it. “I was younger then,” she said. How do you manage your the changing tastes of your kids?

Comments

[Gail, in northern California]

This may sound a little harsh but my mother would be astonished to hear how some children are permitted to dictate the content of meals. If we didn't like what she fixed, "So be it, there'll be another meal about 4-6 hours and you can think about it." I should add that we were poor and didn't have the luxury of being finicky so this seldom happened. ;-)

Is there sometimes a tiny little niggle in the back of your mind that some of these tussles are power ploys?

[Meg D]

I grew up like Gail, in that we had NO choices on dinner whatsoever. Fortunately, we did have resources we just had no choices. Lunches at home were a bit more flexible, but not by much.

As a teen and then again as a 20-something I struggled with an eating disorder. Though they are very complicated and far beyond explaining through something simple as getting what you want for dinner, I do know that having no control over what I was eating created problems for me.

Our 7-year-old son gets a mix of choice (which vegetable or chicken vs. pasta) but we also have a limit and structure to meals (no short order cooking!). He is at a healthy weight and loves to try new foods, even if he doesn't like them the first time.

This is a toughie, each family is different. Being in tune with each other is the best way to try and navigate this one.

[Amy]

I had no choice growing up either (outside of breakfast, then we had a choice).I am not a particularly picky eater (though I very clearly like some things waaaaay better than others) but my mom was a poor cook. I had the choice to eat her (terrible) food or not eat it and be hungry. I usually ate it, but sometimes I just couldn't stomach the thought of burnt tuna casserole so I went hungry until morning. I lived.

[Allison P. Hurst]

what is he doing? seems very challenging